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It was his friends. I completely understand how that sort of thing would be hard to get past, even after a couple of years. You don't forget the mean stuff, even when the mean stuff ends. Or at least gets less obvious. It might have been Frankie's growing seven inches in two years that ended the dunkings. Or the Phillite boys growing up a few years.
More likely it was the whispers that Frankie's twin brother, Daniel, had joined an Asian gang. I thought better of you, Fiorella. I usually admire that a little desperately.
This time it stung. I'm only human. And invisible. In part not that I kid myself that it's the major part because I am still not much over five foot nothing. Alex Bainbridge is a foot taller than I am, with bronze hair that turns up at the front and a mouth that turns up at the corners, even when he's not smiling.
He's probably right. I can sit blissfully under Edward's portrait in the library, scouring the Web for auctions containing his paintings, reading and rereading his letters and the handful of biographies about him, and no one notices.
This year, it's even legit: research for my honors art history project. Besides, Edward was real. Everything he wrote and said was real, true. Unlike Fitzwilliam Darcy, who, drool-worthy as he might be, was really just Jane Austen in breeches. And look how many women dream about marrying him.
I know for a fact that two of the girls at Table 13 are regular contributors to an online Darcy fanzine. They read aloud from it during lunch. It's not bad. I could reach out and touch him almost any day September through May.
I could actually invite him to a movie or pizza, or Marino's, where my nonna would make the calamari and my brother would have to serve it to us at a table in front. But I wouldn't. More the point, I couldn't.
Because of his seat near the windows. Because of Amanda Alstead and lacrosse and the fact that he probably doesn't eat squid. I know the closest I'll get to Edward Willing is his portrait and an honors thesis.
Of course I know that. Truth : For me, it's easier to accept the impossible than the pitifully improbable. I should probably have left the book where I found it, half hidden under the statue of Samuel Windsor Willing, Edith's grandfather the Revolutionary War uniform is misleading; a little math tells us that he was only nine in , but the Willings were never short on ego. I was coming out of the east corridor girls' room, which makes me wonder if school bathrooms are going to have ongoing significance in my life.
I wish it didn't seem so likely. I certainly don't spend much time in them. Even at Willing, they smell like dirty water and that industrial pink soap that doesn't come out of the dispensers, no matter how many times you pump. Besides, I'm not a mirror girl.
I have Frankie and Sadie to tell me if I have lettuce in my teeth. I don't have shiny lip gloss to check. I don't do anything that necessitates Visine. Still, sometimes I'll come out of a stall or look up from washing my hands and catch sight of myself: a small, startled person behind a curtain of dark hair who looks away quickly, as if embarrassed by being caught staring. This time, I could have used the bathroom closer to math class.
I mean, I didn't have to pee all that badly. But Amanda and her cadre can usually be found in the bathroom closer to math class before math class. Home English Online. Read Book Download Book.
Truth: Yes, I am that naive. Chris, Aidan, Duggan. For me, it's charcoal. For Edward, oil paint and bronze. That's almost enough right there. Not afraid of love. I have yet to decide on the second. Why not? I can dream. Mountain climbing, cliff diving, defying the parents.
Him, not me. I'm terrified of an embarrassing number of things, including heights, convertibles, moths, and those comedians everyone loves who stand onstage and yell insults at the audience. Daring enough to take a chance on me. Truth : I'm not beautiful. Or much of a conversationalist. And one written-in-stone, heartbreaking truth about this guy.
This is how it works. It works that way sometimes. I held on.
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